Tuesday, April 14, 2009

To invite his parents?

As I previously posted, Jonas and I will be heading to Iowa to get married (again).

On June 14, 2008 when we were married in our local Quaker Meeting in Illinois, we were surrounded by many friends from school and from church, as well as from my side of the family. But Jonas' immediate family had only one attendee, his youngest brother.

His parents' absence was a stinging blow and brought to the forefront the reality that his parents would not be quick to acknowledge the relationship we were in. Over time, Jonas and I have covered over the wound and been encouraged by the tokens of progress occasionally tossed our way from his parents.

Now that we are faced with marriage again, though in significantly scaled back proportions compared to our original religious wedding, a friend brought up the possibility of inviting his parents.

It was a thought neither of us had considered. Could this be the do-over that we thought we'd never have? Could his parents be interested in being there to celebrate with us? Would they want to come? Would their presence diminish or enhance the occasion? And how will we as a couple feel about having Jonas' parents present?

During a small-group Quaker meeting tonight, I posed some of these questions and asked for thoughts. Two were offered, which were: 1) We were wounded greatly by the first rejection we received from his parents; if we were rejected a second time, would we be wounded to the same degree, such that we would want to avoid it? 2) Would we be willing to give up the option of inviting them and have them say "yes"?

These and many more questions in the same vein continue to pass through our minds. If any of you have helpful thoughts, we'd love to hear them!

(Day 304)

1 comment:

Intrepid Wanderer said...

Goto Vermont, they have maple candy up there. :-)

I guess I would ask whether or not they will support your marriage (or if their support would be different) if they came or not if the answer is no...

Tough decision. I hope all works out best. (Which it always will, we are assured of that and little else.) Jeremiah 29:11

(If you want the funnest translation goto : http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Jeremiah%2029:11;&version=15; and put in young's literal translation. :-) )