Monday, September 1, 2008

Grandparents and the wedding

I cannot help but mention one other aspect of the trip to visit my grandparents: the photo viewing.

You see, my grandparents are unable to travel far from home these days and were thus unable to attend our wedding. Through my mother's prodding, I remembered to bring our laptops with the digital photos of the wedding (set-up, bachelors' party, family dinner, ceremony, and reception!) and honeymoon (Seattle and Glacier National Park).

Hooking it up to to the television, my husband and I narrated the events for my grandparents. Two observations:
1) My grandfather was extremely quiet. I don't think he's used to the idea of me being married ... to a guy. He's never much talked about it, even when given the opportunity of seeing so many photos related to the event.
2) I think this is all-the-more complicated by what my husband kept pointing out as my "favorite grandchild" status with my grandfather. My sisters are great, but he's always taken somewhat of a liking to me, which has now become complicated with my marriage. How can his favorite grandchild, the one who was so "perfect", be gay? And why does he feel so uncomfortable with the idea of my gay feelings, considering his agnostic/atheistic religious convictions? Not that he has mentioned these points, but I can feel them running under the surface. If he weren't such a German at heart, he might even talk about them every once in a while ...

The bright spot was that my grandmother was interested, but could not keep awake the entire time. Such is her state of tiredness. But it was nice to have a little audience participation, even if it was interrupted by some light sleeping from time to time.

1 comment:

Selly said...

Hey Topher,

I know your grandfather will probably never bring up the issue of your sexuality himself.

Do you think it would be a good idea to bring up the issue with him yourself. It would be interesting to know if the way you are reading him is right.

Plus, having a grandparent alive now is such a privilege, I would want you to take the opportunity to know what he is thinking, if it feels right to you of course.